[Super long report warning, make a nice cup of tea and settle down to here the tale of ed_m, tough guy?]
I can think of several ways of describing what i’ve been through today but i think i’ll stick with ‘an experience’ and let you decide the rest.
For those who don’t know Tough Guy is a rather silly event comprising of around and 8mile cross country run that sadistically weavs up and down steep banks and through brambles and thick woodland, after that comes the section they call the killing fields which is the most nightmareish assualt course the organiser can conceive… i’ll come to that in due time!.
I suggest you go to the tough guy website and you can follow through the obstacles in sequence to soo the photos!
Previous finishers gained the privelidge setting off a minute ahead of the rest whilse everyone else milled about waiting to charge off amidst mu tough guy style shouting. I duly charged off down the hill confident that although rather undertrained, running I can do! quickly we discovered this was no ordinary trail run as we pushed through undergrowth to a section that zig-zagged up and down a hill, not too bad. lot of the paths had a well trodden section and it was easy just to follow along at a comfortable pace until someone blazes past in the thicket maing you wonder why you’re dawdling along!
A little later round the run comes the slalom whic makes the early zig-zagging look pancake flat, very busy, really no chance to run up them and probably not possible, still a good hands on knees climb and a bit of scrambling to get the heart rate up. With my minimal fell running experience though even i was able to pick up plenty of places charging down, simply remove brain and go.
Following that comes the ghurka grand national, a series of ditches & ‘fences’ made up of old trees, inevitably muddy but quite fun at this stage!
Then into the killing fields beginning with:
The tiger, a pair of beam/scramble net a-frames with some electric fencing inbetween! it was as busy as some of the pictures on the webpage make it look but not too much trouble aside from a slightly dubious knife edge at the top.
Onto Colditz then simply a series of increasingly tall wooden walls which i found remarkably easy to scale, still enjoying myself at this stage.
Behemoth, another scrable net climb and onto a series of rope crossings, quite fun, not too bad, plus they entertainingly crossed over a couple of the rope crossings to give you something else to deal with!
The fiery holes are a series of ditches interspersed with burning straw, i avoided the temptation of trying to jump onto the floating hay bales and just took the option of going through the waist deep water. running through the fires was surpisingly pleasant and warm, unfortunately the smoke wasn’t so good! Still enjoying myself.
Tyre crawl, nuff said, no problemo.
The swamp, well its just mud innit, surprisingly sticky mud amittedly. not much running but didnt cause too much trouble.
Vietcong tunnels, bit of a queue for this one and several people nipped over the top rather than waiting tut tut. Chose a tunnel and went for it, no way i could crawl on my knees so i developed a kind of sideways elbow & feet sliding technique. Maybe only 10 or 15 metres long but nice and warm.
Quck splash through a pond and up an earth bank onto the paradise climb, skirting along the edge for stability with cargo netting underfoot. the way down had two options; climb down and wade through the water or cross on the ropes, no way i wanted to endure such a long chest high water feature and i’d got on quite well with the rope crossings so i opted for that. not sure it was any quicker but i only got wet feet!
Now approaching one of the two obstacles that had been psyching me out all the way round the run, i could deal with most of the obstacles but these two were always in the back of my mind.
The underwater tunnels, down a muddy slope into chest deep water and uner or over a pole at water level the first one i went under as a tester and survived, the second over. Then i approached the main tunnel and hesitated, no way i was going to hesitate up to my armpits in water i climbed out and stood on the side for a second and considered my lot. well i knew this was here, people were watchning, i’d wouldnt feel i’d beaten the course unless i conquered this one so having mulled it over and surprisingly warmed up a it i waded back in to join the queue. God bless the marshalls on the bridge, each one reached in to guide you under and by the time i was literally pulled out the other side my heart was pumping hard in the back of my throat. a few others had select words to utter as we waded out, all i could muster was AAAAAAAAARGH (for about the next 5minutes). It was the only way i could deal with the shock of it and it did make me feel much better. Mentally very tough for me, especially as i dont like water much. Had to grit my teeth to enjoy it at this stage.
Berlin Wall, 30ft of hay bales to climb and descend this was much more like it, up and over with no worries.
Then another hay bale wall, no problems until we got to see over the top to realise we were at the lake and the arctic seal plunge, the other obstacle that i wasnt looking forward to. A 6 or so foot drop into the lake and a little swim to the other side. A few people had jumped off as i got there but the sight of it stopped me in my tracks and i think it had taken the wind out of some of the others since as i paused to contemplate it no one else was moving either. The diver in the water beckoned us on i looked round for any other takers, none, and set off.
I knew i couldn’t walk to the end of the plank, i was commited to this now so i ran and leapt off the end. In a surreal ‘crouching tiger hidden dragon’ moment i found myself hovering above the water and panning round looking at myself, then suddenly the surface was coming up at me. In a millisecond the surface was passing my eyes and the lights went out. i reached for the surface and swam for the other side breathing heavily.
thats nailed that one then, i was really pleased to have made it and the cold water wasnt as much of a shock to the system as the tunnels.
Then followed a bit more muddy running during which we were given a tasteful shower cap and gloves to stop us completely freezing.
Dans deceiver was another scramble net climb, with a big queue. I hopped on the spot to keep warm as i waited and tested these new glove’s grip on the ropes. shivering now i climbed onto the lower part of netting and with one leg supporting all my weight it shiverred and quaked under me! i thought better of trying e climb in this state.
Still cold i climbed to the platform of the dragon pool which was slide into the water and what looked like a long swim to the other side. I was done with being up to my ears in cold muddy water, i’d conquered my biggest fears by then and just wanted the end so sloped off round the side again.
Over the bailey bridge and onto the stalag escape which help no fear for me, but with a queue and no great progress under the barbed wire i felt i couldnt wait around in the cold again and skipped this too.
All that remained was to work my way through the tyres which run alongside the fiery holes where i found sue & co. warming themselves by the fire!
Anaconda is a series of concrete pipes to vault which i quite enjoyed, plenty of people were walking up to them and trying to push themselves up and over only to get cramp. A bit of momentum provided by a good run up meant i threw myself over quite effectively.
That was it now, all that stood in the way were a couple of muddy banks…….. and the Finish!
I seriously considered pulling out when i got to the stage i wasn’t enjoying myself. I think the clock was on 2:15 when i crossed the line, the obstacles i missed may have added only another 15 but the queueing would have added at least the same again.
The space blanket & a couple of hot chocolates were most welcome before making my way through the less than tepid but a darn sight warmer than the ponds ‘bath’ and then into the showers to get some of the mud off.
I was surprised to find when i got into the bath tonight i was actually quite clean! that was until a peace of straw floated past, dunno where that was hiding.
All in all i don’t think i’d be devestated not to do this event again, but i might like to complete the full course at some stage.
Well done to my tritalk team mates some of whom did quite well and some of whom spent too long warmign up by the fire 
